He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
