If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
