dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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