I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
