I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
