My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
