I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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