I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
