We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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