Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize