yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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