Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
