My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
