i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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