woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
