I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
