At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
