I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
