I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i think my mom watched the whole time
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
