My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
