she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
