just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize