Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
