Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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