We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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