Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's blow job season.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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