She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize