He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm too high and old for this...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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