I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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