Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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