hotel room ftw
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
