what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
