u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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