Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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