dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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