I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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