Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
