dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize