Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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