Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
