Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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