I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
