It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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