is your mom at the bar?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
