my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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