dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
