I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize