their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
