508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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