Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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