a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize