I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
