please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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