went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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