We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
