My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook