i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
me + whiskey = a bad person
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.