I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
