They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
