i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
