idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
