pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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