Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize