my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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