If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
